STEP-DAD.net

What I’ve learned about being a Step-dad

Archive for June 5th, 2010

First things First

Before I start giving any advice or anything I should probably tell you all a little about me and why anyone should take anything I have to say seriously.  First off, don’t take anything I say too seriously.  I know what I know from my own experience, and just because it worked for me doesn’t mean it will work for you.  There’s no guarantees in life, and doubly so online.  Now that that’s out of the way… 

I was born into a normal home life (at least as normal as a child can understand) I love my mom, loved my dad, and dealt with that sister of mine (yeah, I love her too).  All was normal for most of my childhood, up until I was 16.  My father passed away.  We all mourned as it goes and life moved on.  Mom began to date other men a couple of years later.  Eventually she met my step father “pop”.  I look back now and realize just how hard it must have been and how easy he made it all look.  Here he was in that vacant spot a good father used to fill and he had to perform up to par without any of the benefits a dad gets from his kids.  But he did it, spectacularly.  Simply put, he just did what he did.  He didn’t try to be a dad or even a friend, he was just always there and ready to help when we needed it.

It’s amazing just how much it helped to know that there was someone there just in case you needed it and wasn’t trying to replace my father. Granted, I think I was a pretty well adjusted kid so I didn’t have too much baggage to deal with. My acts of rebellion weren’t all that rebellious when I look back at them now, even if my mother would like to tell me otherwise. J

As chance would have it I find myself now the step father to three children, a nineteen year old, a seventeen year old, and an eight year old. The eight year old is beautiful little terror. She’ll melt your heart with a smile and kick you in the nuts at the same time. Her father is still very much involved in her life. It can be trying sometimes and I’m sure I’ll get into that later, but for now let’s keep it to the facts. The other two don’t have that type of connection with their father. The nineteen year old stays at school, so I don’t get to spend much time with her, but the other two live with us. And although I describe the little one as a terror she really is a wonderful child, and my seventeen year old is already “daddies-little-girl” even if she doesn’t know what that means yet. I get into more trouble for defending her than anything else. But it’s worth that and so much more just to see them smile.

Finally you may be reading all this and wondering where there mother fits into all this. Well, she fits in right here. I love her, and she brings me joy and happiness every day. That’s right fellas, she cooks me eggs every morning… I joke, she does cook me eggs every morning, but she does a lot more for me than I could explain here. We’ll get more into my wife as we go along. But I could probably write an entire blog just on her.

So there you have it, I have a step father and now I am a step father. I hope to pass on some helpful information to all you step-dads out there that just need to know there’s help out there for you. And although every legal website or person will tell you that you have no rights what so ever when it comes to the kids, you still have the responsibility to be a good father figure, friend, and always ready and willing to help them grow up to become good people.