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Aug.29,2010
So for the last 14 weeks I’ve been telling you stories about what’s going on with me and my kids. Now, I don’t pretend to be an expert. As a matter of fact I don’t even suggest you take me too seriously. But I’m here, and I’m willing to listen. This week, I’m going to just post this in hopes that you step folks out there want to share their own experiences and/or problems. And if I can offer some words of at least comfort if not aid, than I promise to do that. So let’s hear your thoughts, just go ahead comment away and we’ll see what we find. And for those of you that don’t want the world knowing your issues but could use some help just shoot me an email TheStepDad@step-dad.net I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.
In the mean time my little sister just had herself some twins, so I’m off to go play with them. I love new toys. 
On a lighter note. I love my pup Loki. He’s a Fox Terrier, aka fox terror, and he lives up to his namesake (Loki is the Norse god of mischief). Anyway, one of the many things he loves to do when I go into the yard with him is to run around me in a big circle, about 10-15 feet wide. Anyway, he usually grabs a stick or leaf, and sometimes even a big ‘ol brick (don’t ask me why, he loves bricks) while he’s doing it, kind of like he’s playing a bit of “keep away”. The cat on the other hand doesn’t 
play when he sneaks outside; he just finds a comfy spot on the stone patio to lie down in the sun. The other night however was a bit different. My wife opened the door to call in the pup (who was refusing to come in) and the cat slipped out. The immediate reaction is just to go pick him up, and bring him back in not really a bid deal. Apparently the cat was feeling a bit feisty. The cat ran out, the dog ran up to the cat and started to bark. I’m sure the conversation was something like: Loki – “Hay, you’re not supposed to be out here, Hay humans, Inky’s out here, go back in cat, I’m barking at you to go back in” or something like that but all we heard was Bark BARk bark BARK BARK bark. So mister feisty cat took exception to his tattle tailing k-9 companion and pursued him around the yard. Yes, that’s right; the CAT chased the DOG in circles. But like most cats, the concept got boring or he forgot what he was doing and would drop and just lay there while the dog kept running in circles, once or twice by and the cat got back up and continued the chase. This is one of those, if only I had a video camera and it was a bit brighter out we’d be winning Americas Funniest Home videos, moments.
Speaking of the dog, while I was walking the dog by the neighborhood pool the neighbors kids caught me by surprise yelling out “hay theirs Autumns’ Dad!” Took me a while to realize that they meant me. It always catches me by surprise when someone mentions me as dad that isn’t my wife or the girls (not that the girls call me dad, cause they don’t, but I can’t wait for the day they do). Every once in a while Autumn will call me dad but I know it’s not that she’s calling me dad, she’s calling her dad but I’m there and he’s not. It’s when she says dad and means me that I’m waiting for. Someday maybe, but like I’ve said it’s not something we can force on them, it’s something we just have to wait and hope for, but there’s no guarantee that it will ever come. But I know I will “have something in my eye” the day either of them call 
and that’s the point of life I think, is to try. You live, you learn, and you share, everything else is the lesson. So in memory of my dear Uncle, and in support of the family he’s had to leave behind, His step-sons, his wife, his mother, his sisters and brother, and all the rest of us, I’d like to dedicate this week’s post to him and share a little story about him and the type of person he was. My Uncle Henry for a long time had one of those really bad comb over’s. This is the type of comb over that wrapped around the top of the head like a turban. And for years we’d tease and make fun of him for not cutting it off and just letting go of it. One day my sister was opening the mail, and in one of the envelopes was a rather large lock of hair. Now it’s obvious to us now that I’m telling the story what it was, but to us then, we had no idea. An envelope with no return address, no letter, just a large lock of hair inside would freak out most people. My mother, of course, knew right away what it was when my sister finally told her, but until they spoke it was anyone’s guess as to what was going on. But that was the type of prankster he was. As a matter of fact my Uncle Christopher the night we found out of his passing said “If I get down there to find out this is just one of his pranks!” And this is his brother so you know he knows the type of guy he is. But, the truth is the truth, and we will miss him greatly. One of my fondest memories of my Uncle Henry is how in the face of my father’s death he did his best to keep our spirits light with a joke or two about funny memories he had with my father (who had a bit of sense of humor himself). So I hope that through the next few weeks we’ll all remember those good moments and laugh and smile in the way I feel he would want to be remembered. So I wish him to rest in peace and hope that his father who had gone before him is there to greet him and take him into his arms for a final embrace before watching over us all into the future.
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I was more advanced in my skills and knowledge than the rest of the class, but the only reason I had those skills and knowledge was from my own research online prior to going to school, and playing with the software’s that were being taught. What I’m basically saying is that at least the 10% of the actually talented students in a class could have just as easily been the instructor for the class, and in some cases those 10% were ultimately instructing the rest. I don’t know how many times I’ve had to “teach” basic skills to other students in my “advanced” classes. It’s never good to have students that are more knowledgeable on the course material than the instructors. As a matter of fact I had an intern who was from Westwood’s Game Art and Design program that I felt had the talent but wasn’t receiving the necessary education in their classes. After creative meetings for my attempted online game design studio business venture (New Games Studios), I would have to teach basic skills to my intern who should have been taught these basics already.
little one got into a hot air balloon and floated away and could get back down. She swore to me she’d never let her get into a hot air balloon. Now here she’s getting into a children’s ride that is made up to look like a bunch of hot air balloons floating around in a circle. Granted these aren’t real hot air balloons, and she’s not going to go floating away. However when she got off the ride she toppled out of the basket of the balloon she was in. She didn’t’ get hurt or anything, but my wife couldn’t run in and grab her like she wanted to. So who knows maybe the dream was a bit of a premonition, maybe it was just coincidence. Ok, end of tangent, now where was I. Ok, yes, Autumn went on that Balloon ride, and the other two went on this much faster and higher version of the same ride. Then we went on this monorail thing that took us around the park a bit. Then there was the tilt-a-whirl for Autumn and Daniel, Me and Stephen went on the Super Duper Looper. Autumn, Carla, and I went on the log floom. And that was the bulk of the rides we were going on. We went and checked out the Zoo America which was ok, nothing really to write home about. Then we ventured off to the best part of the day, The Lazy River. We must have waited on that line for close to an hour to get on this, but oh was it worth it. Simply put you sit in a tube however you feel comfortable and float around this slow easy river. There’s no end, you get off when you want or at least by the time the park closes. We would have stayed on that thing all the rest of the afternoon… But, my silly nephew decided that he didn’t want to go in, I don’t know why to this day. We went around this river three times and it was wonderful, had he come with us, I’m sure we would have probably stayed in it for the rest of the afternoon. But alias… we finally got out. After that we went to go into the Wave Pool, but the line was just too long. So we moved on to the seal show we had noticed earlier. Of course the little one want to go into the wave pool and now that I said no, she was 
starting to act up. But we both stuck to our guns. I tried to have a conversation with her about how this vacation was for everyone’s enjoyment not just hers and how she needs to share the time we have in the park with what everyone wants to do not just her. But she tried her very best not to listen to me no matter how many times I hear my mother’s voice come out of my mouth “look at me when I’m talking to you”. Ultimately we went to the seal show and enjoyed that after which we headed out of the park and off to home. And that was the one and only time that we really got any trouble from the little one. Sure there were little out bursts here and there, but they were short lived and easily swayed. I think that Hershey Park was just too much for her to handle, she wanted to do everything even though she got scared on the log floom.
whether you’re a step dad, dad, or other, is to remember what you’re trying to do. You’re trying to encourage your kids to make the right decisions for the right reasons. Like my Nephew for instance, he had wanted to do two specific things at Hershey Park, this “Make your own chocolate bar” thing and some roller coaster ride. Well, he had mentioned the Make your own chocolate bar thing when we first got there but didn’t elaborate that he really wanted to do it, so we didn’t do it. Later that day after talking with his mom I found out that there were the two things that he wanted to do that we missed doing. I than made arrangements to go back to Chocolate World at Hershey Park to do just the one Make your own chocolate thing, but I couldn’t pay for an entire days ticket just to go on one roller coaster. But if he had made the decision to speak up and let us know that he really wanted to do those two things than we would have done them. So we live, we learn, and we share the lesson.
vacation we went over to Cowan’s Gap state park, where they rent paddle boats and have a beach like area in the lake. That was a lot of fun. Of course Stephen once again didn’t want to go in the water, but did go on the paddle boats. The price by the way was pretty cheap and worth it. We saw DISPICABLE ME in 3D which was very funny, definitely a go see. Finally we visited Crystal Caverns on the way home. That was a lot of fun, and the tour guide was pretty funny (she had a sense of humor like my father, so it struck my funny bone pretty hard). All in all it was a very relaxed vacation nothing to stressing or crazy. We didn’t pack to much stuff to do in each day and kind of just played the days by ear. Of course the kids were dying without a computer and only one TV. But hell I remember only having one TV and no computer when I was young. We didn’t die of boredom, but then again we also had that thing called imagination.
herself. Eventually we got to the end of the path which spilled into a small beach were the dogs and owners could get a little wet in waves of the ocean water. There wasn’t much of an undertow from the waves, and they were only inches high, nothing like the waves at Jones Beach or anything. Just slight waves like an active lake would have. Unfortunately the dog didn’t like the water too much so there wasn’t much of a mess. I ended up getting the wettest in my attempt to coerce the pup into the water with a treat. This worked but once he got the treat ran back on shore. We met a family with a similar dog there and talked a bit. Eventually we left, walking the trail back to the beginning. We found Mr. Softy there and enjoyed some time together with a bit of teasing and laughing and all the little things that make moments like this memorable and fun. It was then that I realized that all the people that were around us enjoying their time didn’t stop to think if I was a dad or a step-dad, all I was doing was being I. When I was a kid and went out with my family on little trips and what not, I didn’t think I had to act like my parents son. And with that same idea when we as parents/step-parents go out we don’t think we have to act like the parent of these children. Ultimately we have to just be ourselves, and as long as we do that, as step parents, we’ll get the respect we suspect a parent would get.
no one has said a word. Finally I asked why she hasn’t stopped me. No one even really noticed that the radio was flipping through the stations for the past 15 minutes. Sure once I piped up, everyone said they were wondering what I was doing, but the changing stations was apparently less annoying to my 17 year old than the classic rock I was listening too… I worry for the future of music. The funniest thing about the whole music issue was that her maid complaint about the music was that it all sounded the same… Classic rock all sounds the same? And you’re comparing this to what? Brittany Spears, or maybe Beyonce, maybe even Justin Beber? Want to talk about music all sounding the same? It’s amazing what you can learn about your kids when they’re hot and tired in the back seat of a long car ride home.
Busses don’t count. 2. It must be self propelled by a mechanical engine. 3. It must have at least two wheels. 4. You only get one point per Twinkie. Now my mom and sister play this game too, and they like to call out extra points for unique Twinkies that they see, i.e. ”Twinkie Plane, 10 point”. Personally I feel that the harder Twinkies to find are the motorcycles so if any should be more points it’s that. My little one likes to call out extra points for Twinkie punch buggies, and I always let her call whatever she wants. Because once she starts loosing she gives up and quits. As a matter of fact on the ride home she says ” I’m not playing anymore, but that doesn’t mean you win, cause I won and that the end of the game” of course I continued to play but she wouldn’t recognize any of the points I was getting. Not that anyone else in the car was playing. The older one only plays to beat out her sister whom in turn she does that in turn ends the game as the little doesn’t want to play anymore and if she’s not playing then there’s no point for the older one to play and I’m left high and dry wanting to just play and not getting anywhere… But that’s their relationship that how they are going to grow with each other. The older one will always be trying to prove that the little one is too young to “hang” with her, and the little one will always be trying to prove that she can “hang” with her. Little do they both know that they are being forced to “hang” with me… oh and the wife too, of course. I can’t stress enough how important it is to just spend time with your kids, even if it’s doing nothing. Sooner or later a smile will pop out from somewhere and you’ll find that little connection can build big bonds between you.
a lifetime”.
celebration, I just wasn’t sure what to do. Eventually though I got over it. Sure these days I’m being reminded of these dates by others, but that’s more because I’m a forgetful person and not a teenager dealing with his selfish phase.
